Everytime we hurt, is Anytime we love
by esprit en deuil
Summary: A short songfic featuring Everytime by Britney Spears. This story has a Tony/Gibbs, slash pairing, as well as a mention of Gibbs with OFC. i suck with summaries so just read the fic


_**A/N: So, I'm kinda having trouble with our little wonderboy, and I had Britney Spears' Everytime stuck in my head and then this came to mind and I'm really tired and this probably won't make any sense, but I had to write it. The lyrics to the song are written in italics. (btw, I don't really like song fics... and look at what I wrote... *snort*)**_

_Notice me, take my hand  
Why are we strangers when  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me_

It had been six months since Gibbs made his move, six months since the first time they kissed. Tony looked at the half empty bottle of bourbon in his hand and sighed heavily, his head falling to the back of the couch. Six months, how had everything gotten so screwed up since then?

_Everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby _

The first two months had been great, Tony and Gibbs had been constantly together, having sex on every surface of Gibbs' house and Tony's apartment. It took everything they had not to touch each other at work, they held their professional attitude and only let themselves go when they got home. It had been wonderful few months for both of the men.

_I make believe that you are here  
It's the only way I see clear  
What have I done  
You seem to move on easy _

Then it all started to go downhill. The third month the men still enjoyed each other's company and on the surface their relationship seemed the same, but on the inside it was crumbling. Both men were having doubts, they were distancing themselves and wondering whether or not they could really make this last.

_And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby_

Tony and Gibbs both felt like they might have found the one, but still it wasn't working. One night they were laying together in Tony's bed when the younger man realized that this is what he wanted, not just now but always, and it scared the shit out of him. He'd let himself grew dependent of the older man and he feared that when Gibbs decided to leave, he's be left with nothing, for the next week things were a bit strained and Gibbs didn't really get the reason, but tried to make things better, and then it all went to hell.

_I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this song's my sorry_

Tony saw Gibbs with a redhead, and the older man was giving a kiss to her cheek. He felt like his heart was ripped out, so he did what he always did in that kind of situation. He went and got drunk, and the next morning he woke up with a splitting headache, a stranger in his bed and Gibbs standing in the doorway to his bedroom with a bag of baked goods crushed in his hand. Turned out, the woman was only a friend.

_At night I pray  
That soon your face will fade away_

Tony looked at the bottle of bourbon, he never liked the stuff until he hooked up with Gibbs. He took a healthy swallow and staggered to his bedroom and climbed between the cold sheets. He thought about the last few months that had been full of pain after his error that had proven fatal for their relationship. Gibbs couldn't be with a man who didn't trust him and wasn't worthy of his trust. Both men were left hurting.

But Gibbs had seemed to move on, Just earlier that day, Tony had seen Gibbs with his new girlfriend. They had kissed passionately in front of him and his heart broke into a million pieces. He knew he had been Gibbs' first long relationship with a man, and now the older man had gone back to ladies, maybe he'd been just an experiment.

Tony closed his eyes and saw the image of the man he loved with a woman. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw Gibbs and it was killing him that he's screwed things up so royally. Finally, after hours of lying shivering, alone in the too big bed, he let the tears fall. He couldn't get the face of the man out of his head.

_And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby_

An hours drive away from Tony's place, a man stared up at the ceiling and listened to the deep breaths of the redheaded woman sleeping peacefully next to him, curled to his side. Gibbs couldn't close his eyes, as that would only bring forth the face that haunted him, the love he'd lost. He let one lone tear roll from his eye, as he pulled the female body closer to him, wishing that she was someone else.

THE END


End file.
